Expert calls reasons of divorces in Kazakhstani couples and ways to reunite them

According to the Ministry of Justice of the Republic of Kazakhstan, in 2022, over 73 thousand marriage acts were registered. At the same time, since the beginning of the year, 11,420 acts of divorce have been registered in the registration authorities. Behind each figure is a human situation, problem and fate.

The issue of divorce has been raised in the media many times. Comments and their thoughts were voiced by officials, deputies, psychologists and public figures. Correspondent of El.kz looked at the problem from the other side, talking with a private judicial executor, author and head of the project "Family Therapy OTBASY HELP" Nesibeli Basenova.

- For what reasons, in your opinion, do people get divorced?

- The Family Therapy Project was created in 2021, a year when mostly couples divorced due to alcoholism, drug addiction, or domestic violence. This year we have already worked for 8 months. For those couples who come to our project, there are no such problems.

They differ mainly due to a lack of mutual understanding, loss of respect, love, various values, selfishness and addictions to gadgets, as people began to communicate and spend time online more often, but not with family. They also divorce because of infidelity. There's a lot to be said for, but not all young people understand the responsibility of getting married.

- It is generally accepted that divorce is a phenomenon more for young people who do not take the creation of a family seriously. Is this true?

- Marriages break up in young families who have lived 2-3 years, but also in those who have lived together for 20-30 years. Just yesterday there was a married couple who lived 25 years, they have 5 children, three are already adults and they have their own children. But there was a problem, we are now working on this issue.

What is a family? After all, this is not only mom, dad and children, but also relatives. I always say that people come to court most often in cases where the patience of women has ended. So marriages fall apart. According to statistics, not only women, but also men apply for divorce. A small percentage, but it exists

- In what cases does a man or a woman turn to you?

- Our project is divided into two blocks. Within the framework of one, a memorandum was concluded with the city court of Kostanay. All divorce proceedings are directed to me. This is a voluntary matter, but there are no refusals. Married couples come, I help them to find a compromise in case of disagreements or find a way out of a difficult life situation.

It is a pity that many couples forget that they have children. Of course, in this case, you begin to talk about the situation of children after a divorce, many listen and save the family. But if there is domestic violence, then you need to be careful. About three years ago, there was a case when in one of the districts of the city during the divorce proceedings, a man stabbed his woman and she died.

The second block is in the case when alimony is exacted. The couple has already divorced, and we help to at least communicate with the children, so that the situation is resolved peacefully. We've had examples where, even after a divorce, it was possible to bring couples back. It is important to say that 50% of men want to keep couples, they apply and we invite the second party - we start working with them.

- Giving examples, you talked about cheating. Is it true to believe that only men cheat?

- There are cheating on both sides. Both a man and a woman cheat. Approximately, more than three hundred couples faced with such a situation. More often, women forgive cheating on their husbands, but men cannot forgive their wife's infidelities.

- Is the divorce already no-return case?

- It can be, if the couple has not lived together for a long time, the relationship has ended, but for some reason they have not legally formalized the divorce. But for every married couple, I always tell and offer to solve problems together. The parties have forgotten how to hear and listen to each other. . Disputes and scandals do not give them the opportunity to calmly sit down at the negotiating table and say everything. Another reason is that in our country there is a very small state duty when applying for divorce. Therefore, one of the ways to reduce these divorces is to increase the state duty. We have already talked about this many times.

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